10 Signs You Are The New Age Seventh-day Adventist

1. You try as much as you can to attend the service every single Sabbath but when in uni you never even bother to ask your professor if you can skip the Saturday class although knowing the professor is a very flexible and considerate person

2. The elders give you that sharp-look when you wear make-up or mini-skirt to church service but their own spouse wears the brightest red cheap lipstick/nail polish.

3. All those don'ts/never/shall not rules only applies to food. Not in terms of material. As the member with posiest car will be treated like prophet even if they reach church at 11 am (not even enough to get the seat heated cause by the time they managed to find available seat, the sermon has already finished).

4. Seventh-day Adventist is your faith up until you finish your tertiary education, then you get 'the-job' you can convert and forget your blood-faith according to which denomination is your future-husband.

5. You were brought up to be moderate but when you grew up all you want is a spouse with the most material asset even though his/her background is similar to that criminal resume - you do not even want to know if your fiancee is the famous slut cause your reputable match-maker uncle recommend her to you nor if that fiance of yours is a Bangla with unknown background. Plus, you are willing to do anything including blasphemy to your former faith as long as you have the biggest bungalow, posiest+highest car, heaps of credit card or in one word = MATERIALISTIC.

6. Even on your wedding day that protruding belly of your out-of-wedlock unborn is not at all something to shame for as long as you have a government-job to boast. And don't worry, you are so dignified by the whole villagers. And oh yes, you are encouraged to look down to those unlucky-jobless, too and of course treating others like they know nothing. You would also don't need any friends cause you are now the noble aka one-of-a-kind circle of people, all you have to do when there is any function in the neighbourhood is to show up less than 1 minute that by someone is asking about you, you and your royal family have already left the spot. But if your are single, all you need to do is to announce that you only stop by for a minute because ("the chopper will fetch you") you need to depart for KK in any second when in fact it is only 1130am and to KK it only takes about 1-hour & 30-minutes. Besides, like you don't aware that in Sabah the sun only sets around 6pm

7. The guys would always want to tackle the most beautiful (teacher is the most choice) girl although he is just a "pindik-pindik tagap" (short+plumpy) rubber tapper

8. That it is okay to humiliate others in public just because you finally at last succeeded in impregnated your wife after 8 years trying to death

9. That being the most succesful so-called the most religious church member is by showing your yesterday-just-out-new-limited-edition 4WD, the biggest LV handbag you can drag, the longest gold-ring you can throt along your ring-finger, the out-of-the-universe-seem-to-look-leather-purse to show when you open it to take money for the offerings, the ringgit note which have the effect of others gawking to you with envy, the skimpiest dress you can wear-if possible, wear only once in a lifetime, yada..yada...yada...

10. Brag that your child is the cutiest, with the most unique name, cries the loudest!